to be perfectly honest...

...I was totally dreading this post. Then, I read my new friend Erin's thoughts on accountability & well...I knew this was one of those things I had to do. Because, dear reader, I need you.

We need each other.

So here we go. The launch of the Skinny Me Campaign. Reminder - this is no diet. My heart's desire is to make lasting change, and it's been my experience in the past that it just doesn't work for me to have it in my head "no more coke!" or "no more tasty treats!" - I'm gonna fail. There needs to be a heart change before there can be any sort of body change.

Because of this, I will never post my actual weight, although I will share how many pounds I have lost. I also aim to be pretty transparent in struggles/accomplishments. But mainly - I want to focus on my relationship with Christ.

I was talking with my dear friend Christy last night & she was asking me about what my goals were for this idea.

My hope is that other women will join me in realizing their identity in Christ is far more important than a box of Thin mints or Oreos.

And this sounds absolutely ridiculous. In fact, as I was writing that last sentence, I sort of laughed to myself because really? Finding identity in food? Absurd.

...

But how many times have I trekked into the kitchen after a hard day and reached for a cookie or snack when I wasn't even hungry? How many times have I had an argument with someone I love, and instead of reaching out to them, I looked for solace in a glass of ice cream?

how many times have i run to food looking for a temporary fix, when i could run to the One who makes me whole?

Anyone relate?

In Mark 8, Jesus is speaking to the disciples. He says, "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me & I'll show you how. Self help is no help at all. Self sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want & lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?" (vs. 34-37; emphasis mine)

I read this passage on my way to work this morning and so many things stood out to me. Namely:

we are not meant to be comfortable.

I'll let that soak in for a minute.

...

Consider your day to day activities. Whether you struggle with lifting a hand full of M&M's to your mouth in boredom or clicking on that all-too-tempting link in your browser that promises excitement or even swiping that credit card one too many times in order to reach absolute trendiness...are you looking to Christ for fulfillment?

My prayer as I embark on this journey is that I will refuse to buy into the mindset that my comfort is first priority.

I can go without coffee despite being sleepy.

I don't always have to reach for those chocolates because...man...I need something sweet.

I would rather go to the One who knows me - knows my heart's desires & why I just can't say no - & allow Him to heal me.

Because that's what it's going to take...you know this, right?

Healing.

Anything that takes precedence over our relationship with our Savior threatens to tear everything apart. Our heart, our home, our mind...our body. Regardless of whether it's food, pornography, sex, alcohol, eating disorders, lying, stealing, adultery....

it's all the same.

You see, there's a reason why Jesus asks the question: "What could you ever trade your soul for?"

bottom line: He wants nothing...nothing...getting in the way of our relationship with Him.

are you trading your soul for something other than its best?

are you giving in to moments of pleasure instead of seeking the One who could fill the hole in your heart?

These next few days, take an honest look around you. Take an honest peak at your heart. Take a few minutes and listen to His love song to you - let Him sing. What's holding you back? What's getting in the way of your intimacy with Christ?

....what are you going to do about it?

My goal(s) for this week: Spend time in the word every day Allow Him to speak & sing over me Refuse negativity in any way (namely at work) Share His love with at least one person a day Drink at least 64 oz. of water a day No eating after 9 PM Work out at least five times this week (biking, running, walking...)

...Your turn :)

Posted on August 13, 2009 .