the power of fear

Fear will suffocate you.

I said this to Devonte and Nijalon the other day at our first meeting. Of course, I was speaking in terms of writing - fear of rejection, fear of going blank, fear of not being good enough. But it rolls deep, this fear.

We talked about how fear can paralyze you so completely, you don't ever achieve your dreams. The little whisper you hear telling you to make the jump or take a step is overrun by the blindingly familiar shout of fear. And as I spoke this, as I looked in their eyes and encouraged them to take the sheet of paper stating what was keeping them from their dreams as writers and storytellers and destroy it, I silently prayed the truth would sink into their hearts.

Because I know what it's like to buy into the lies.

It's been three months since I've pulled out my novel to write. At first, it was to allow myself some space. Writing about human trafficking is tough - and thanks to some incredible friends and an amazing husband - I knew when to back off and take a breath. Weeping at the keyboard usually doesn't equal emotional stability, you know?

But, it's been three months.

As I sat and listened to the dreams of these two high school kids, slowly mine began to resurface. Words began to dance around in my head and scenes began to form themselves.  There's no way I'm going to let 65,000 words go to waste.

So, I'm going to start writing again. Along with a few other things I've let fall to the wayside, I'm restructuring my priorities and editing my goals.

Might as well start now...

oh - and the dreams of these kids? inspiring. devonte wants to write novels using his background as the foundation for his stories. he also wants to develop a mentoring program for inner-city kids to get them to open up through writing. um...yes. beautiful.

Posted on March 18, 2010 and filed under story.