[re]finding my purpose

It's been awhile since I've allowed my creativity to experience a free-for-all. I mean, just writing this post almost seems like a chore. Opening sentence: is it good enough? Who will read this? Have I captured their attention? How many sentences will I have to cross out before landing on something I can move with - letting my inner editor take a breather and just sit back while my words flow? Over the next few days, I'm doing just that - I'm giving my words  some time to dream. You know, we serve a creative God. I believe every pore of our humanity screams for some type of inspiration - if not, why do sunrises take our breath away? Why are we moved to tears from a song or a play or a story?

A couple years ago, I found my purpose in the back of a chapel in the hills of North Carolina. Coming back, I couldn't stop writing. I couldn't stop dreaming and planning and getting excited about what I knew God wanted me to do. "This is what He created me for!" I would think...and I promised myself I'd never forget.

Lesson plans got in the way. Papers started piling themselves on my desk - waiting to be graded. Instead of yearning for a keyboard or blank sheet of paper to write my ideas, exhaustion took over. My nights, once filled with words tripping over themselves, became pretty monotonous with every day dealings.

I feel myself moving that direction. I stare at a blank screen, the cursor blinking - almost mocking my lack of inspiration. An unfinished manuscript - purpose etched across each page like a sun-lit sky - sits in my room, waiting. I know the ending. I just can't find the time.

So I'm making time. These next few days I'll be in Chicago at the Story Conference. I can't tell you how excited I am to soak up the creativity of so many people from around the US - writers, singers, website developers - people who understand the idiosyncrasies of stories and the importance of telling the One story everyone begs to know.

I'm going to breathe.

I don't know if I'll post or not during the weekend - it may be a few days before I'm on here again - but if there's one thing I can say as I close out this [painfully] chaotic post it's this: take a second and think about your purpose - what gives you life? I heard the other day a quote talking about how at the end of one's life, we should hope to look at our Creator & know we spent all of the talent we possessed for His glory. I don't want my words to go to waste. I don't want to forget my purpose in every day life. And I say this often - I'll probably even lament about it again. I just think, as humans, we tend to forget why we're here. I know lately, I've allowed my worries and exhaustion stand in the way.

Where are you at with your purpose? Have you forgotten? When was the last time you allowed yourself time to breathe?

Pray for me over these next few days. Pray I'm reminded of His purpose for me. Pray for the conference - for the other attendees and for the stories born this weekend through collaboration.

Posted on September 21, 2010 and filed under story.