when we first stepped off the plane in africa, something inside my heart awakened - almost as if it recognized home. i saw things in kibera that broke me in ways i never anticipated. and yet, this breaking became a beautiful reminder of what God is capable of doing - of what His heart beats for and what He will fight for - even if no one else will. six months outside of this trip, my heart still aches for that unmistakable pull of breaking and healing. there are nights where the ache is almost palpable - where i can almost reach out and grab it. i wasn't expecting this.
a couple months ago, God began to move in me in ways i couldn't ignore. this wasn't easy to face. our sin is never as glamorous when we're looking at it from His perspective, and i was facing for the first time my selfishness and demands for comfort. i realized those tears i spilt on behalf of the poor and powerless meant nothing if i wasn't willing to sacrifice. my faith still shook with the legs of an infant if i was unwilling to take a step into the impossible.
so i talked with russ, and we prayed, and we straightened our shoulders for the leap. within a few short weeks of us taking the collective breath and jumping into the unknown, a dear friend approached us with a possibility nothing short of God-ordained. in fact, once he asked us to consider, i slapped russ in the arm because there was nothing else i could do to contain my emotion.
it was as if God, in His beautiful and breathtaking extravagance, was giving us just a glimpse of what He will do when we agree to join Him in ending what breaks His heart.
in march, we are going back to africa.
although we aren't going back to kibera where our hearts were first torn, this trip holds no less significance. in fact, you could even say the importance of us going on this trip surpasses that of when we boarded the plane in june. because, in all honesty, there is absolutely no reason why we should be walking on african soil again if only because of His grace and mercy.
in november, i mentioned how God revealed to me that 2011 would be the year of jubilee for russ & me.
this trip is only the beginning.