my home.

i won't ever forget the moment i walked into the hardware store and found my home. i hid at first. literally. walking around the store, heart pumping wildly and butterflies catapulting themselves against my chest, i peeked through pieces of pvc pipe avoiding your gaze.

i couldn't run forever. eventually, i found myself in your arms for the first time in three years. i closed my eyes to push out the scary thoughts of whether or not you felt the same way. for that moment, two feet from the front door and customers walking around us, i knew where i was meant to be all along.

seven years has gone by since that bone-cold january day. seven years of laughing until we cry, discovering new loves and tucking promises into those deepest places of our heart. i still feel safest when i'm in your arms. during the day, i think about the moment we'll reunite, fighting the impulse to walk out the door and towards you. when the sky turns black i fit myself into the holes of your warmth, it's my favorite thing in the world to wake up in the exact same place.

i think about time. i think about mistakes and fights and tears and quiet. i think about moments when we begrudgingly reach for the other after words fall out of our mouth and crash against the walls we've built. i think about these things and i know there's still no other place i'd rather be then here in this moment with you. growth is painful sometimes, but it's the beauty i know exists that keeps me going. love is hard sometimes, but it's the purpose He gives that keeps us alive.

and i know this much is true: wherever we are, whatever we're doing, home will always be in your arms.

Posted on January 7, 2011 and filed under fluttering pulses.