i will run.

my heart couldn't take it all in - i could feel the swelling, the surfacing tears threatening their escape. our pastor read the verse out loud, a smile playing on his lips - the anticipation palpable. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good - tears gone, crying gone, pain gone - all the first order of things gone. - revelations 21:3

the tears were flowing freely now. You will wipe my tears, i thought. this pain...this ache...it will be gone - my filth...all of it?

and out of nowhere, His love rushed through my veins - hot and heavy with glory. i pictured walking on the streets with Him - soaking in His goodness and accepting His love. colors swirled around me as i see Him painting a sunset before my eyes. and then He lifts my chin and gently takes his thumb, wiping the tears falling out of joy overflowing....the pain forgotten in this earthly moment.

His voice comes softly, a whisper in the ear for His child He holds, yes. no more pain - you will be whole and new and without sin. and yes, my child. i will wipe every tear from your eyes. every hurt, every betrayal, every disappointment - gone.

as the music ends and people make their way home, a new pain centers in my chest amidst the pruning. it's one of exhaustion. sometimes this world leaves me so weary, and i fold in on the throbbing - allowing it to take me to His arms. there's coming a day where my faith will be sight. there's coming a day where this One who has held me through tearing and breaking will stand before me in sun-filled wonder with arms open wide and a smile on His face.

well done, i hope to hear Him say.

and i will run, not walk into His healing embrace.

Posted on February 15, 2011 .