unexpected gifts

i woke up in the middle of the night wednesday, body aching and head feeling two times its size. i fought it for awhile, gingerly stepping into the bath and gargling with hot salt water. finally, two hours later, i gave into the message my body was telling me and i e-mailed for a sub. for two days, it was all i could do to stay awake. taking a shower was usually followed by me collapsing into bed, the steam from the heated bathroom following me.

i'm just so tired, i'd tell russ. he'd look at me, smile, and say, i know, love.

somewhere in the middle of my sleep-induced struggle to think, it hit me. this is a gift.

this, a sickness completely overtaking my body and leaving me to sleep, is a gift.

for two solid days, i slept. for two solid days, i didn't check my e-mail. my blog was left unattended and my journal unopened. friends texted to make sure i was okay, but somewhere in the middle of all this i began leaving my phone with russ when i went to lay down. so i'm not disturbed, i'd say.

and it was glorious.

i'm still not 100%. i'm still coughing and this morning when i woke up i groaned and choked and sneezed and sat still for about five minutes in order to acclimate my body to being [and staying] awake. but i have a deeper focus than i did last week, and i feel as though even though my sickness was physical, i was granted a bit of an emotional reprieve from the chaos of these past few months.

so i'm learning. i'm learning that it is He who breaks us, yes. i'm learning it is He who carries us through the healing process.

and i'm learning that it is He who stops everything to give us a reprieve - even if it means we get the flu.

1000 gifts list:

[0022] sick days spent knowing He hears [0023] leaning up against my love's chest when i have no strength to do otherwise [0024] his you're still beautiful whispers in my ear [0025] chik-fila sandwiches, text messages and phone calls from friends made family

what are you thankful for today?

Posted on February 21, 2011 .