strength of purpose

we are not frightened anymore. we stood up. we stood up.

there are two of us there will be more - they'll show up. they'll show up.

{a fine frenzy}

sometimes, i have a hard time believing in the strength of my dreams. recently i read the alchemist and the shepherd boy in the story fought his own Personal Legacy because of fear. it makes me wonder how many of us take life sitting down.

the past few days have been full of highs and lows. i crossed more off my list of things to do before turning 30 - prudence & shawn came to visit this past weekend and we spent time talking, drinking lots of coffee and taking in the city. it was good to be with people who have birthed life into my dream after weeks of feeling battled against.

but then there's the lows - the wondering if i'm ever going to be able to strip myself of day-to-day monotony. don't get me wrong: i love my job. but, i know it isn't forever. and my biggest fear is i'll settle in deep and accept it without thinking twice.

it'd be easy to fall into comfort. wake up, do work, get done and go home - it's the way of our nation, right? what would happen if we jumped ship?

what would happen if we believed in the strength of our purpose?

it's always amazing for me to see others live their dream. my husband is closer to his dream than ever before - and i love watching his eyes light up with possibility. it makes me want it - the life-force that fuels your purpose. i think this is true for anyone. watch anyone close to you live like they were supposed to and you'll crave the same. it's contagious -  fulfilling your purpose.

and so many of us walk away from it.

for me, i continue to listen to the still voice inside. i know the respite of a quiet heart may not last forever, so i need to take advantage of the lost words and cling to the Wordsmith for inspiration. eventually, like the shepherd boy, i'll know it's my time to take the step of faith.

until then? i'll read a lot. i'll soak in the beauty around me. i'll let the words build on themselves and tumble out when ready. because honestly, i'm still frightened about sharing the story He's birthed me. i know this won't be forever. i know i'll wake up one day and realize the strength inside.

until then, i'll wait.

Posted on April 19, 2011 .