wonder of a child

He wooed me in the corner of a starbucks. numb and tired, i opened my step study binder out of a sense of obligation. at first, my heart resisted. james 4 doesn't bode well for a soul bent on running the opposite direction of it's Love. slowly though, my eyes opened.

ray lamontagne was replaced with songs declaring our God greater and stronger and higher than any other. james 4 moved to ephesians and romans. and as i read the words of hope and promise, my heart breathed relief. i could feel the dirt and grime and mess i so often cling to fall away.

there, in the pages of this book i so often neglect, were words breeding life in my weary soul:

it stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? when God lives and breathes in you, {and He does, as surely as He did in Jesus}, you are delivered from that dead life. with His Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's! so don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. there's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. the best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. there are things to do and places to go! this resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. it's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" - Romans 8:11-15 {MSG}

and as i was reading, the song started low in my ears.

He is jealous for me... loves like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

the tears started pooling in my eyes and i blinked quickly, looking at the wall for fear of being known by strangers. my heart opened without me knowing and started pounding with the rhythm of His love song to me - a love song so often sung to Him.

if grace is an ocean we're all sinking...

and i felt the imperceptible rush of a Holy embrace there in the middle of starbucks. lately, my experience with His love hasn't been quiet and neat and orderly. it's messy and overwhelming and ravaging every part of who i thought i was - and who i assumed He created.

but as my heart danced with her Lover in the middle of a hot saturday afternoon, i knew i'd want no other experience than Him completely taking over me -  batter my heart, three-personed God,  for you as yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend...

in the breaking is where i can crawl into His lap with wonder and faith and know though my heart weeps for darkness and brokenness and old-made-dust, my Papa makes all things new.

and the only thing i can say as i look in His face with expectancy is, what's next?

Posted on May 3, 2011 .