it must be something to experience someone knowing you - truly knowing you - when your whole life you've felt invisible. she said this as i sat on her couch, balling the tissue in my hand as a defense mechanism. as if i could use it as a weapon if the need arose. as if the weakening of the fibers due to my tears never even existed.
i looked her in the eyes then - because how could she know that's been my struggle recently? i didn't mention the wrestling of my heart to share the development of my manuscript or how i fought the need to hide behind my colleagues in michigan. i didn't mention the blog post that put words t0 my ache - the feeling of not existing - the knowledge that to some, my worth doesn't measure up and won't ever measure up to their standards.
but here my therapist was, putting her thumb on my sore spot. and without any hesitation i felt the whisper in my heart...
you aren't invisible to Me, My love. come to the Light. come let Me heal you.
and i really had no other choice but to lift my head and smile.