an always in never

in elegance of the hedgehog, one of the characters talks about finding hope in a brief and random encounter with music. faced with the true meaning of never she  realizes the brunt force of suffering. but, walking down the street with a friend, she becomes overwhelmed by the shared connection of overhearing a sonata - music in the midst of an ordinary second. she calls this moment finding an always in never. as i listened to this scene in the book, tears fell down my face. honestly, i'm still haunted by it. my heart woke to these words and immediately i needed to write, needed to explore my insides with sentences forming against the quiet...the scene reminded me of something. something i've known for awhile but can so easily forget in the rush of day-to-day living.

for me, words are my always in never.

there is a certain kind of magic i experience when this happens. it's a pulsing - almost as if my heart, recognizing my pause, begins jumping up and down and questions, yes! you see me! hello?

i love this.

it helps me know her more - helps me see my true self.

you see, i have this tendency to don a mask at the precise moment it's needed. i've spoken about it before, this incessant desire to please and reject conflict rears its ugly head and i become a completely different person.

but something happens when words collide with who i really am - it's an always in never moment. for a brief second, i see myself as part of a larger Story.

i think this is what's supposed to happen - i think, in His divine mercy, the Creator of the Universe knew we'd need moments of remembering. there's so much vying for our attention - so much noise. 

an always in never moment reminds us of eternity - of where we stand - where we've been or where we're going. it's in those moments our purpose is once again illuminated against the darkness and we see just enough to give us breath and creativity and inspiration.

almost as if the Creator takes a deep breath Himself and exhales strength into our souls.

Posted on December 16, 2011 and filed under creativity & rest.