grace in the hard

there are moments where my words seem few not because i don't have them, but because the will to wade through the messy is just too small. this is where i find myself today.

it feels stormy inside my soul. last night i fought for a way to explain the way my heart is bending but instead paced around our bedroom, hid under the covers for a few hours, took to de-cluttering and eventually landed in the laundry.

basically, i tried to keep my mind on anything but naming the anxiety and worry plaguing me.

i could feel the pull to sit and rest - to {abide} - but i just couldn't force myself to rest in the mess.

resting in the mess meant seeing it for what it was - resting in the mess meant allowing Him to pick up the pieces. 

perhaps my hesitancy to {abide} shows more a hesitancy to trust?

 

...counting the gifts anyway

0032 :: days to recuperate from the flu 0033 :: saying no 0034 :: the invigorating rush of cold air on bare skin 0035 :: conversations with new friends 0036 :: the countdown until summer 0037 :: new weeks, new beginnings 0038 :: sunday afternoon naps with my love 0039 :: a reminder of His pursuit of me 0040 :: phone calls with friends who speak my language

Posted on February 27, 2012 and filed under abide.