why knowing yourself is essential

our alarms sounded at the normal time this morning.

i felt him sigh and curl into me, wrapping his arms around my waist. i snuggled deeper and found a place of rest.

i didn't want to get up to face the day.

normally, mornings are a rush. alarms go off, i'm out of bed and getting dressed and out the door within what seems like seconds. lately, i've landed at work around 6:30, facing a pile of must-finish that will keep me there until about 5:30 or 6:00.

today, i resisted.

i just couldn't do it. i needed something...some type of restoration or revitalization. and it's difficult to be sitting here, forcing myself to be still, when i look at the clock and see it move toward 6:15.

but it's also freeing.

i took a personality test yesterday and - not surprisingly - found out i'm an INFP.

intovert. intuitive. feeler. perceiver.

it's a lot of mushy words, you know? a lot of un-concrete. and this morning, opening my eyes to the end of another week and facing a fairly busy weekend, i needed to rest in a bit of spontaneity and resist the must finish pile for a few more minutes.

it's quiet here in this room and i can feel myself center. there's no coworker coming in asking for advice, no student needing an extra charger, no pile growing beside me and giving me instant stress. it's just me. just my books. just the quiet breathing of my heart that needed a little refuge this morning.

hopefully, my day won't be as hectic. it probably will. i call this season the silly season where tests take over the education world and teachers and principals and students alike become zombies chanting phrases like meeting standards and benchmarking and disaggregating data.

it's enough to suck the soul right out of an INFP who happens to be the testing coordinator...

but i have these moments - even if they're few - to dream of the future and wonder about possibilities.

because in these moments, i get to think of the things that make me come alive - the reasons why i got into education in the first place, the words dancing through my mind at any given moment, the freedom i feel with the complete quiet of solitude.

and just for a moment it's a different world.


also? anna & amber are the big winners of mandy's eBook! i'll be e-mailing your copies today. :)

Posted on February 3, 2012 and filed under creativity & rest.