craving His touch.

it was just like any other sunday, except it wasn't just any other sunday. we rode down to the frank erwin center on his bike. me clinging to his waist and hiding from the interstate wind behind his helmet, him weaving in and out of traffic. we got there early and i already felt the rush of His whisper against my heart.

like always, i tried to run.

i'm not sure why i do it. you could probably chalk it up to fear of authority or my ambivalent nature. whatever it is, i always hesitate giving him my full attention because i fear the inevitable: blessings turned punishments.

it's hard to articulate, but it's true. that whisper - His wooing me - always turns my blood cold because what if it is Him just wanting to tell me He's disappointed? what if He wants me to give something up He knows i love?

my fists clench tight and my heart skips a beat. anxious and waiting, i crave His touch but turn my cheek when i feel His hand.

when the doors opened, we walked in and found our seats. the whole hour before the service i felt His rhythm against my chest...i love you...i love you...i love you. 

and when the lights went out and we started singing He is risen! and the hold of God is stronger than we dare to hope and dream and i heard the words spoken :: "there is no good list and bad list. there is nothing that will change His love for you - nothing that will make Him think differently..."

something inside me broke.

i've heard the words before. i've spoken them before to other people. but, i'm learning to accept this for myself. learning to trust. learning to believe. learning to {abide} in His love.

because He will fight for me, and He will pursue me, and He won't let me go until i understand that i am His.

counting the gifts :: 

0071 :: the rush of cold air while riding behind my love 0072 :: the time to write and read before the service 0073 :: hearing the crowd of people singing my heart will sing, no other name...Jesus 0074 :: hugs from friends 0075 :: a compliment spoken in passing at just the right time 0076 :: a look from him that lets me know all is okay 0077 :: the peace that comes from letting go of fear 0078 :: letting the tears fall 0079 :: being reminded of His sacrifice 0080 :: knowing His love is for me

how was your Easter? what are you thankful for? 

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Posted on April 9, 2012 .