secret messages of love

i wrote the words in my journal that morning - just show me Your love today? make it so apparent i won't miss it. overwhelm me with it. 

i didn't really know what i was expecting.

i went through the day, and it was a good one. it was friday and the weekend was just within reach. on my way home, i noticed a new e-mail waiting for me. at a stoplight i checked to see, expecting it to be nothing.

it was from rhizome, and it was a copy of the cover to my novel.

now, i need to say that this alone was cause for celebration. immediately i thought to that morning, thought to the prayer written and smiled. this wasn't necessarily the drenching i expected and hoped for, but it was a soothing reminder of His love. i got home, sent some text messages of pictures, and snuggled deep in my covers to read for a little while.

it didn't hit me until i got a text message back from my best friend.

"you have a secret message on your cover!!!!" it read and immediately the tears began to fall. i read the words again - the ones speaking of God's protection and His presence in the dark spaces and i thought to myself, "this is how it is, isn't it? this is how it was - He was the One who held my hand. how perfect. how beautiful."

i didn't write the words on my cover. i'm not sure who did - perhaps it's from a poem? all i know is twelve hours after praying for a reminder of His love, He reminded me of the deepest, life-giving force imaginable.

He loved me in the dark. He loved me in my deepest pain. and the presence i felt, the warmth i still feel in my hardest moments, it's Him, holding my hand.

all this is true.

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Posted on April 2, 2012 .