we are all just puppets

pinned by potsc via vanessa brewer

i've been trying to write more intentionally.

in case you missed it, i made a huge announcement last week in my deeper story post. after months of looking and praying for big, bright neon signs, i began to listen to the quiet whisper of my heart and realized :: it's time to make the jump.

so with eyes wide open, i fall heart first into a completely new stage of life as a full-time writer.

it makes my words seem weightier just thinking about it - not weighty with importance, but with intentionality. before, there seemed to be this safety net :: oh no worries, you have this nice, cushiony, full-time position to fall back on if this whole writing gig doesn't work out...

i held tight to this belief, thinking it would keep me safe, even though that nice, cushiony, full-time position sometimes sucked me dry because it wasn't my true calling. and at times i felt crazy, as if i were a puppet on a string, trying to make it through life and find my next steps in a fog so dense i couldn't even see how wooden my heart felt.

which places me here. today.

i'm beginning to find my groove, beginning to understand exactly why it is i'm placed here, in this moment, for this one wild and precious life. 

it's to prove the presence of beauty in the middle of brokenness.

all other things, for me, are void.

it's taken awhile for me to get here. it's taken God breaking me in order to set me right. it's taken His continual pursuit of my heart - His relentless and furious longing to love me to really sink deep in order for me to know.

let me be your Father, He whispered to me in the roar of my questions these past few weeks.

and He says the same to you. always. this is the beauty in our brokenness - this is what breeds hope and pumps bravery through our veins. because really? without Him holding our hand, without Him reminding us of our worth and how He plans to use us to bring His restoration, without His love and healing and promise and grace, we are all just puppets trying to make it through the fog.

Posted on May 22, 2012 .