proof of Him.

hope is the thing with feathers know this :: sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of God's silence. sometimes, you realize your anger is more hurt and confusion and disappointment because of His absence.

but here's the Truth - He never leaves. not really.

last week, a dear friend wrote about kissing the waves that crash us against the Rock. for the past few months, it feels as if i've been lost in the waves, pressing closer to shore. perhaps this is why standing on the edge of sunset cliffs moved me to tears. watching the white caps rush to meet me, feeling the foam kiss my cheek and roll down my arm, i think i understood with more clarity a little of what i'd been feeling lately.

because although i've felt pushed around, it's really a pushing toward. and these past few days have been proof of His presence.

i've spoken before of how He overwhelms. i'm one familiar with the heavy hand of Love.

this though - this is something all together different.

this is finding stray feathers on walks and last minute getaways with my love. this is a drive through forgotten roads and filling my soul in the rolling landscape of the texas hill country.

this is hearing Him in the rustling leaves despite my anger.

this is emails that encourage and promise prayer. this is close friends coming closer and whispering yes to save room for my own bursts of joy.

so now, i feel myself pushed up against the Rock and every time i feel Him breathe i'm reminded of those words, if grace is an ocean we're all sinking. 

because right now, i'm sinking. i'm sinking and i'm overwhelmed and i'm falling asleep with a smile on my face because this, right here, is my life.


Posted on August 21, 2012 and filed under abide.