help me find my story.
i woke up to this email this morning - one that declared this brave soul would love to start writing things that really matter. and i would say to this person ::
write like everything matters.
it's easy to categorize. i do it if i'm not careful. it's easy to look at moments in life and deem one worthy and the other lacking. but really, grace and inspiration are everywhere - we just need to use our eyes.
the sunrise on a commute, the sunflower field out back, the summer road trip, the memories lurking in the shadows - every piece means something. every bit of our lives plays into something larger - a puzzle we can't see.
so we become students of ourselves.
for me, i ask the hard questions :: why do i act that way when this happens? how do i need to respond? and then, the hardest part :: waiting.
this is the most difficult part of finding your story. looking around you and reaching back to find the patterns. sometimes the answers surprise you. sometimes they hurt. most of the time you feel as if you found another piece. you always feel more complete.
ann voskamp speaks about us living chopped off - refusing to hold the bad and the good - only seeing the blessed moments as grace-filled. we begin to live half-lives when we refuse to risk - refuse to lose - refuse to hold our hands open for what He has for us. we live half-lives because often, it's in the breaking He sets us right. it's in the ripping apart that He's able to put us together in a way we were meant to be all along. we need to also live like everything matters.
because it does.
my soul's pull toward the ocean, the way my heart pounds a tribal rhythm when in the mountains, how my veins pulse when reading words or listening to a song that echo who i am in my deepest parts, my distaste for standing barefoot in the grass, how large crowds and loud noises overwhelm me, the fear that creeps in to my blood when i'm left somewhere, the way my throat constricts and starts to hurt when watching a movie where i see myself, how i feel most at rest in the arms of my love...
it all matters. all of it.
so how do you find your story?
write like everything matters and listen for the whisper of your beginning. it's there. i promise.
most importantly :: don't forget to live. in living, you will find more answers than you ever imagined.