the first thirty things on my mind today

...i wonder when we'll receive the call letting us know our daughter (or son) is born and i wonder how many times i'll have to answer the question of why we chose to adopt first and of course, there's the question of money. and where we'll get it.

but there's also a peace in writing, and a direction in which to go and ideas brewing of words piling on top of words....

and this scares me as well as excites me.

(because no one likes to fail)

and then there's the thing about the car, how long it will last, and the hundreds of peanut-butter packages falling over in the back seat that i keep forgetting to drop off at the food bank...

and the workout to fit in to my schedule

and the water i need to drink

and the books i need want to read

and the list i need to ignore...

because every artist knows a to-do list can be her greatest enemy.

but i think of the check i need to send and the forms i need to fill out and the friend who waits for her son and the other one who celebrates her daughter and the rest who gather around us as we wade through the muck of these past few weeks

and i am full.

full of life and sunsets and shared drinks and conversations.

full of texts and emails and letters and dreams

full of hope and the best kind of fear.

and i know, despite the worry, i will be okay.

what are some things on YOUR mind today? 

 

 

so there's this community emily started that can get me to write when everything else seems a bit hazy. we link up our imperfect words and celebrate the beauty in our messes. will you join us?

Posted on October 24, 2012 and filed under the {true} and the questions.