i declare.

I was talking with a friend yesterday about habit. 

"There have been a few moments these past few weeks where I say I'll do something, or that I want to do it, and then I'll completely forget about it. Like—I'll want to go to the gym, and will even have a moment to do it, and then end up at Target with Oreos in my hand instead." 

She laughed. 

"I read a book once that said like 45% of our day is created out of habit."  

I blinked. I grabbed a pen. I asked her to repeat what she said. 

"Well...don't quote me on that—I can find the real statistic because I can't remember if that was the real number, but it was something ridiculous like that..."  

"It's almost half of our day."  

"Yeah."  

"Half of our day is done out of habit."  

She nodded. "Yep." 

.::. 

In the spring, I received some coaching from my friend Dan. We didn't get very far {like the first session} before he asked what it was I wanted. I had to write it all down—every last bit. 

"And don't hold anything back. This isn't something you're going to publish or something."  

I waited weeks before actually doing this assignment. 

You see, I'm a visionary. I love creating and brainstorming and dreaming. When it comes to getting down and dirty though, I struggle. Oh man. I struggle. And some of it is the fear of failure and what-if-I'm-the-laughingstock and yada-yada-yada.

But most of it is my fear of success.  

Not the what will happen to my soul if I find success. I have enough people around me who will knock me down a few {or twenty} notches if I get too big for my britches. This fear of success is rooted in the belief that if something good happens, then something bad will happen in result.

And so, that list of wants? It was like the Pandora Box of my heart. Opening it was a risk I didn't know I was willing to take.  

.::. 

I have five words hanging on the wall above my computer. 

Beauty. Risk. Authenticity. Healing. Freedom.  

Next to each word, I've written goals for the month associated with that word. Sometimes I do it. Sometimes I ignore it. 

But I'm practicing the declaration. I'm strengthening that voice of want that's been so stifled all these years.

Because here's the thing: I believe you can have it all. I believe these wants—when lined up with our true purpose and calling—pave the way for a fuller and more whole way of living. 

How do I know? I've experienced it. 

Listen. This year of RISK  has nearly hung me out to dry. But it's been breathtaking and beautiful and scary and hilarious and heartbreaking and gut-level therapeutic.

The biggest risk? Following my wants.  Listening to my gut and declaring myself. 

With each declaration, I'm rewriting habits and lies. I'm cutting away loose ends. I'm letting that fire of rejection and resistance burn away the dead pieces. 

And I'm coming out more Elora than ever. 

// 

What would happen if you declared your wants? What would happen if you let yourself line up within your true calling and purpose? 

Posted on October 17, 2013 .