on embracing habits of being.

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I write it on my calendar so I won't forget.

Freedom. Flexibility. Healing. Beauty. Style.

Every day, a different focus.

I didn't start out this way. It's easy to forget.

In this year of risk, it's easy to remember the failures and where I lack.

But that won't get me anywhere. 

So I wrote down what it is I wanted and wrestled through the difficulty of owning my dreams. I saw the themes emerge - freedom from expectations, flexibility in work and providing for my family, pursuing healing in myself and others, chasing after Beauty,  finding my style and quitting the incessant need to copy everyone else or follow the status quo.

And it's helping.

Instead of worry, I focus on what habit I'm needing to fill. I lift it up, inspect it, turn it around and see where it's been bumped and bruised by the past week. I hold it close and breathe in the air around me and remember - today is for freedom. So I let it go and watch it make it's way back to me on its own.

I listen closer to these dreams He's asking me to follow. There are still moments it makes no sense - the moments I'm staring at the bank account and wondering when the tide will turn or watching the countdown to little lion man shrink - but I'm more equipped to stand firm when doubt creeps in (because he always does, he's relentless like that). 

Focusing on these habits have me all tilted. Or maybe I was tilted before and now I'm straightened out and fully stretched? Whatever the case, they force me to remember. To not give up pursuing the healing I know is out there. To continue to fight for Beauty and freedom for not just me, but for you as well.

I have some announcements coming soon. Ones that have been burning in this heart of mine for a few weeks. I hope you'll stay around to hear and walk with me through the words. 

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Posted on April 8, 2013 and filed under risk.