sometimes, moments in life give us a glimpse of heaven. joy bursts through every fiber of our earthly being and it's not enough to stumble over words in order to explain how He's provided or come through in a moment of need. sometimes, situations around us just overwhelm. sickness, family issues, debt, insecurities, loss of jobs...sometimes we ache for reprieve but know there's no end in sight.
and i'm pretty sure if you're breathing, you've experienced one or both of these moments.
lately, my life seems to hold more of the latter. and so this past Sunday, when matt carter was talking about how the word hallelujah serves this incredible purpose of giving us a piece of language to describe Christ's goodness, tears began to fall.
because sometimes, in those moments of difficulty, i question His goodness.
i forget about the wait. i forget about this biblical discipline - woven into the fabric of who we are as His children.
i forget that our lives, comfortable and brimming with extraordinary excess, were meant to be spent on behalf of others.
i forget that the beauty of wait, where we see His goodness - His presence - in the midst of these difficulties is found in the singing.
it's easy to sing when things are going well. it's easy to throw your hands up and praise when you just got a raise or that guy you like smiles at you. it's real easy to smile when your bills are paid on time or when you receive good news from the doctor.
but what about when you lose a job, or when infertility steals your hope for children? what about when lies threaten to tear apart the family you've worked so hard to protect? what about when sickness weaves itself silently into loved ones?
do you sing then?
oh yes. you sing. you sing in faith.
you sing in expectation of Rescue. the night doesn't last forever - and His silence may be proof of something deeper - something more significant than any of us can imagine.
you sing in obedience. and this is the hardest of them all. this past week, Russ & i stepped out in faith knowing disappointment was certain. we could verbally commit to what He's asked us to do, but that's about it. we knew saying yes was half the battle, but our hearts wanted more. regardless, we followed through with first steps - despite our lack of necessary funds. sure enough, our expectations were met with brick walls - impossible to get through but perfect for God to shine. at the last moment, when we were certain the last chord of this song was finished, He came through in ways we never anticipated. obedience. it's the hardest willingness of them all but it's most often the way He proves Himself worthy of our full attention and praise.
and you know what? because of that shattered brick wall, i'm able to see with more clarity the reason for our wait. and you will too.
because, on the other side of His provision, you understand the no's. the disappointments suddenly take on this beautiful hue of protection and you're left with no words except hallelujah.