there have been a couple instances this past week where i'm suddenly hit with this realization of holy cow...we're adopting. one was yesterday when we received the application from Gladney. i printed off both manuals for our dossier & application. looking at the stack of 150+ sheets of paper, it's very easy to get overwhelmed. because of this, i was incredibly thankful for the groupings in which the africa team instructed us to organize our paperwork. makes it manageable looking at a checklist of sixteen steps as opposed to a checklist of well...a lot. i texted a friend the picture of me nearly buried under the paper and she responded, "shout hallelujah with each page turned - your hope rests in the jubilation coming." i could only smile at her text - and fight back the tears because of the reminder - our jubilation is indeed on its way.
and then this morning, on my way to work, i listened to the gungor album. as beautiful things played, i cried. suddenly, the realization that our baby will experience redemption at a level we could never even dream hit me square in the chest. i envisioned what him or her may face in these months/years to come and my heart broke - with everything inside of me i wanted to be on a plane headed towards ethiopia. i wanted to hold my baby in my arms, kissing his/her small head.
i'm here. i won't leave. it's okay.
and then i realized, i can envision this redemption. i've lived it. my own life was dust - my own clothes ragged. Christ, in His goodness & faithfulness, held me, adopted me as His own and promised me He'd never leave.
He made me new.
i've thought a lot about our baby today. for all we know, there's a woman in ethiopia right now, praying for a way out of her situation. have faith, my sister. Rescue is coming...your ashes will turn into beauty.
and because of your courage, Rescue is showing us more of Himself and His heart everyday.
Gungor's beautiful things. if you haven't heard the song, i highly suggest you take a moment and listen.