pathetic fallacy.

there's this literary term i learned in college - pathetic fallacy. basically, it means when the physical atmosphere in a piece of writing mirrors the emotional atmosphere of certain characters or a scene. {think wuthering heights or that scene in psycho where she's climbing the hill to norman bates' house...} right now, it's storming outside. it seems the wind is playing some sort of mother may i? game with the thunder and lightning. mother may i rattle the screens? the thunder crashes and responds yes...you may. 

and like true literary parallelism, our life has been a storm of emotions this week.

last weekend, we turned in more paperwork and a check - completing the prep process for our home study. i thought about writing a post about how handing over that envelope made me feel overwhelmed and relieved all at the same time, but then tuesday came and our case worker called to let us know our home study would be on saturday.

so tuesday night we celebrated valentines' day by standing in the baby aisle, completely overwhelmed by choices.

i could tell you about the exhaustion i battled or that weird mother-instinct of knowing my baby is coming soon. i could tell you about russ texting me wednesday, letting me know he felt sick.

i could tell you about waking up at 4:00 in the morning on friday to him shivering into chef pants and a hoodie, his body radiating fever.

or, i could tell you of this morning - how i woke up just as early with a heavy chest and a raging cough. i can feel my body winding down, aching for rest, and i'm needing to vacuum and clean bathrooms and make sure there's no weird smells anywhere...

but i won't bore you with those details. that's all they are, really. what i will let you know is even though there's a storm raging outside and within, if i let myself sit quiet and still, a peace centers.

this morning i've been thinking a lot about romans 8 -  specifically verses 38 & 39 :: I'm absolutely convinced that nothing-nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable-absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

nothing can separate us from the love of God. it says so in the Bible. and just like with our relationship with our heavenly Father, earthly adoption parallels that unwavering love.

this is where my mind and heart rest this morning. regardless of my exhaustion or physical sickness or sudden home studies or feeling ill-prepared, nothing separates us from our child. 

and nothing will.

it's stopped storming outside. if you look close enough there's a crack in the clouds where you can see blue sky.

pathetic fallacy is alive and well in the ramirez house this morning.

Posted on February 18, 2012 and filed under Faith.